Thanksgiving

"Well today is Thanksgiving, and the populace of Calfmur are enjoying their turkey and cranberry sauce along with stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potato pie, white rolls, and lasagna (I know, you don't eat lasagna on Thanksgiving, but the people of Meltolot are strange when it comes to food.) Also, there will be a grand festival held in the castle with all sorts of games, contests, and other activities. The refugees from Legoton are being fully included in the fun, and although they are not celebrating in their home town, they seem to be enjoying themselves as much as everybody else. Here comes Anthony Wantly, lets interview him now."

"Hello Anthony, how is Thanksgiving going for you?"
Anthony: "Great Mr. Newston, I've just gone to Alice's for some gravy, we've plumb run out."
"Wow! ran out of gravy, how many people are in your house?"
Anthony: "Almost fifteen, we've got the Geraldsons, that's five, a couple from Albentok, that's seven, the people who own the house, that's eleven, and my family, that's fifteen but one of the Geraldsons is a baby, so eating-wise we only have fourteen and maybe a half."
"Well as you can see folks, the people of Legoton have Calfmur pretty much full, but there doesn't seem to be much complaining going on at all. So let's turn our attention to the spies, one of whom has come back alive. He will now tell you his experiences in PAM and any news of the other four spies."
Spy: "Hello my good people of Meltolot, today I have tasted the worlds best turkey, the most savory lasagna, Calfmur's precisely mashed po-"
"Sir, you are expected to talk of your conquest into PAM and of the brave deeds accomplished by you and the others who ventured forth."
Spy: "I know, Kay, that in our country that is traditionally done but in the land of PAM I found a whole new way of doing things. It is called, I think, Commercial. I'm sorry about that folks. -tatoes, and the masterpiece of Meltolot cuisine, our delicious cranberry sauce. -And now we shall return to the main program.-

We entered PAM at night, just as the moon rose. I did not find anything, but my buddy did. He picked it out of a garbage can and said it might be useful. I told him to throw it away as it would only hamper us in the case of our escaping from something, but he thought it would be useful to our scientists. The Thing was large and bulky, but it had a handle with which to carry it by. I at first thought it was black, but when the morning dawned it turned out to be a greenish color. It had knobs and dials which my buddy started turning. I told him not to, but he always was of the inquisitive type. Suddenly when he pressed a large red button with strange markings on it the thing came to life!

With flashing lights and beeping noises a long pole came from inside. We looked under the Thing to see where the pole came from, but it appeared as if the pole was growing as a blade of grass, straight out of the Thing! Well, that scared me and I started to run, but when I looked behind me, I saw that my buddy was still standing next to the Thing as if paralyzed. I yelled at him to leave it and run, but he remained still, staring at it. That really scared me so I started to run back to him, but just as I did I saw bouncing along on four black wheels, something monstrous. It looked like the fire shooting thing I was supposed to find the blueprints for, so I ducked behind a bush and started drawing it on my notepad. I had only got to the front of it when it stopped beside my buddy and a door opened and three of the plastic army men got out.

I knew they were going for my buddy so I had a decision to make: Either help my buddy and get us both melted, or obey my instructions and continue with the mission. I chose the latter. I wish I hadn't though, because, besides hiding behind a couch in one of the enemies' houses waiting for them to talk about where the blueprints I was supposed to find were, (which did not have any effect because they did nothing except watch TV,) and getting a broken arm while falling off a cliff, I did nothing."
"Wow, I'm sorry about your buddy and all, but at least you learned what a commercial is."
"Well folks, That will wrap today's report up. We have only three more spies out there, hopefully at least one of them will find the blue-prints for the fire shooting machine, so that we can take back Legoton."